Looser! Winner? I missed you B....

16 days vomit free... But no surprise... failed again, vomited on friday and today as well... I have to get on the recovery road again....

But I remembered what I loved so much about it, one gets to forget it, because one is so aware of the negative aspects the more ill one is... But now that I felt almost healthy again, I remembered how easy and beautiful it is to eat too much, how free it feels to vomit, how releasing it is not to count what one is eating, not to think should I or shouldn't I?

Just to think I want this so I eat this... So beautiful.... That's my goal... That's where I want to go, eat things because I feel like it and just don't count, just don't think 3 times about it, just enjoy totally guilt free and just don't vomit it afterwards... I know that goal is far away, but maybe next time I hold more than 20 days, then next time I will get a little closer to my goal. And maybe some day I will manage...